10 Things Women Need To Stop Apologizing For Immediately
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where, without even being aware of it, you’re apologizing for something that is completely out of your control, not your fault and frankly nobody’s business but your own? I know I have (many many times).
As a woman, I often feel pressured or obliged to explain, justify or apologize for things, often personal, that men have never even had to think about. There are stigmas and negative associations attached to how women do anything from behave and make career choices to how our bodies work, and even what we choose to do with them.
It’s about time that we stop justifying our personal choices to anyone but ourselves, take pride in our achievements, and do whatever the f*** we want. I know I have.
Below is a list of things that women should stop apologizing for (yesterday):
Sadly, a lot of women feel like they’re intimidating because of their independence. Actually, I’m pretty sure I’ve been dumped by several guys because they couldn’t handle me expressing my opinions. However, those were not men that I would have wanted to date anyway. If a man is intimidated by your independence, your opinions, your career or your intelligence; he is not a man, he’s a boy. Never feel like you need to “down play” who you are in order to get along with someone, men or women; be proud of your achievements, flaunt your success, and use the feedback you get as a way of finding people that are actually worth your time.
Prioritizing Our Careers
For some reason, it makes perfect sense to the world if a man wants to put work before all other priorities, including his family. If a woman puts her career first, on the other hand, it’s a disgrace. Whether or not she has children is irrelevant too; if she does, she’s a bad mother and if she does not, she’s making the “wrong” life choices (and getting judged for those choices too). There is literally no way around it. Never ever feel like you need to apologize for the career choices that you make; different people make different choices and you need to choose the path that is right for you.
I have always found it fascinating how much people seem to care about other people’s sexual preferences. To me, who you choose to share an intimate situation with seems completely and utterly irrelevant to anyone but yourself, which is exactly what it is. Never be ashamed of your sexual preferences, or feel like you need to explain or justify them to anyone. What you do with your body and who you choose to share it with, is entirely up to you. Be as freaky or vanilla as you’d like – your body, YOUR body.
Bra Cup Size
Have you ever heard a man with a small-to-average sized penis say; ‘My penis is pretty average, I hope you don’t mind’? Yeah, me neither – because men LOVE their penises. Get my point?
Periods are uncomfortable, painful and messy – what they also are is completely normal. There is nothing shameful about periods, and if anything we should be proud and happy that we have them because it means that we are healthy. If you ever find yourself apologizing for your period in any way; excusing your inconvenient period pains, apologizing for not being able to do certain things because they feel uncomfortable, or even messing up someone’s sheets – stop yourself immediately. Bleed with pride, ladies. Period.
The Amount Of Makeup We Wear
I don’t even know where to start with this one, but I guess the best way is to refer to this article: Why The #MakeUpFree Movement Might Be Causing More Harm Than Good . Wearing or not wearing makeup is a very personal and individual choice based on reasons that you should never have to explain to anyone.
How Many People We’ve Slept With
This is a big one: Women have been taught to suppress their sexuality for a very long time. I feel like we have come a long way, but I still hear my girlfriends apologizing for their sexual choices or feeling the need to follow up a “hook up” story by something along the lines of: ‘…but I never do that kind of thing’ or ‘…but it’s ok, because I’ve only slept with *insert perceived socially acceptable number of people*’. Imagine a man going to his friends and saying: ‘I hooked up with this girl last night, but it’s ok because I’ve only slept with my ex-girlfriend and two other people and I never do that kind of thing’. His friends would be like: ‘Whatever, dude’. In other words, no one cares what men do sexually – so why the need to apologize for your sexual behavior? You can do whatever the f*** you want with your body – sleep with one person or 1000 people, it is completely your choice and you do not need to apologize for or share it with anyone.
Not Looking Our Best At All Times
We are human beings, and sometimes human beings are just being human. When I was younger, I used to admire the girls who always looked like they were on their way to a photoshoot (and I still do, but for different reasons) – that was until I realized how much time and effort is actually spent looking flawless. I personally do not have the time for it and I personally do not care. Never feel like you need to look a certain way at all times; everyone has bad days, and everyone needs to just chill sometimes and let their bad hair day have its moment. Give yourself a break.
Making More Money
Going back to the paragraph on Independence, this is kind of the same thing. People who do not want what is best for you get jealous, people who care about you get proud. Never apologize or feel like you are not entitled to be proud of your money – you worked your ass off, so you deserve every penny!
Food is one of the most wonderful things in the world, but for women it’s probably one of the most shameful topics out there. From a nutritionist point of view, people generally do not have sufficient knowledge about nutrition to voice their opinion on other people’s intake. Yet they still do – all the time. Never feel the need to apologize for your food choices, preferences or the amount of food that you consume. All people are different, we do different things, come from different places, have different habits, different activity levels, different lives and different things going on. What you put into your body is your choice, and don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad for digging into something you love, or helping yourself to an extra serving of lunch.
Not Wanting To Have Children
When it comes to most big life decisions (ie. choice of education, where to live, life partner, nutrition and exercise habits, appearance…and the list goes on) we have an unspoken understanding and acceptance of the fact that people make different choices, and we respect the fact that we want different things because we are different. However, when it comes to whether or not to have children, we are all expected to make the exact same choice. It doesn’t make much sense, does it? Having a child is a huge responsibility and a choice that changes your whole entire life, and whether or not you wish to make that change for yourself is completely and utterly up to you. Your body, your life, your decision, no apologies needed.
Sorry, not sorry!
[Please feel free to share your thoughts and reflections in the comments section]